Now Maybe Read online

  Now Maybe

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Now maybe

  Secrets. Everyone has at least one. Sophie’s started with a simple white lie. A lie that has grown into a secret she must never reveal.

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sharon Coady

  Copyright 2018, Author

  PUBLISHED BY SHARON Coady

  ISBN:

  Front Cover Design: Marissa-rose Wesley of the Cover Me Darlings

  Copyright 2018, Author Sharon Coady

  First Edition

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please send me an e-mail to the e-mail address listed below, subject line “Attention: Permissions Coordinator.”

  [email protected]

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters, names, events, and places in this novel are used fictitiously or are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, or to actual places, businesses, or real-life events, is entirely coincidental.

  Secrets. Everyone has at least one. Sophie’s started with a simple white lie. A lie that has grown into a secret she must never reveal.

  Prologue

  Sophie’s heart dropped when she saw the plus sign on the pregnancy stick. Pregnant? How the hell am I pregnant? She was on the pill, and they had been careful. She never told Nathan she was taking the pill, so she made sure he always wore a condom. A baby was not in her plans right now. She had too much she still wanted to do. Was that selfish? Probably. But it was her truth.

  “Damn it!” she screamed as she threw the stick into the trash. The tears streamed from her eyes. How the hell was she going to tell Nathan? He would want the baby even knowing she did not. They’d fought about it last month. He threatened to break off the engagement with her, if she couldn’t commit to wanting kids when he came back from this deployment. How fair was that?

  Sophie stood and started pacing around the bathroom. Do I tell him? Of course I have to tell him. After all, it’s his kid too. She leaned against the wall. If I tell him, I’ll be trapped. Her mind swirled with one overwhelming thought after another. Do I really feel trapped? Don’t I love Nathan? What a mess she was in now, and he would be coming by in an hour. Get your shit together, Sophie. She strode to the sink, turned on the water, and washed her face. She would have to deal with this sooner or later so better to get it over with.

  Sophie started dinner and poured herself a small glass of wine before adding most of it to the sauce for the beef she braised. Once everything was ready, she put the meat into the preheated oven and set the timer. Nathan loved this recipe. She preferred chicken or turkey.

  She realized everything she had done over the last year was geared toward Nathan’s approval. Leaning forward, she grasped the counter top. When had her life gotten so screwed up? She had plans to finish her master’s and become a nurse practitioner. Now it was going to be that much harder. Maybe she should talk to Chelsea before she told Nathan. No. I have to handle this myself.

  Sophie turned on the radio to her favorite country music station and started singing along to Little Big Town’s “Better Man.” Before she knew it, she heard the front door open.

  “Soph, where are you?”

  “In the kitchen.” She smoothed her shirt and pushed her hair behind her ears before plastering a smile on her face.

  Nathan grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her forehead. “I’m sure happy to be home. I have an entire week with you before we deploy.”

  Sophie tensed up, choosing not to say anything.

  “What’s wrong?” Nathan leaned back and looked in her eyes. “Is something wrong?”

  Damn, he knows me too well. She sighed and shook her head as tears fell down her face again. “I... Dammit.” She wiped her face and stuck at her chin. “We need to talk.” She watched the expression on his face change from concern to anger.

  “What now? What did I do wrong now?” He backed up and crossed his arms, eyes narrowed and feet planted shoulder’s width apart.

  “I’m pregnant,” she blurted. “I’m not happy about it so please don’t start gushing.”

  His jaw dropped. “Are you serious? When did you find out? How far are we?”

  Sophie narrowed her eyes. “We aren’t pregnant, Nathan. I am. Not you. I just found out a little bit ago.” He reached for her and she backed up. “Please don’t. Nathan, you know I have plans, and they don’t include having a baby right now.”

  “What is that supposed to mean? You aren’t talking about getting rid of it, right?”

  “Do you really think I’m a heartless bitch? I could never do that. But I don’t want a baby right now. It would change everything for me.”

  “Look, let’s not worry about it now. You’re upset and clearly not thinking right. I don’t want you making any decisions until we can sit and talk.” Nathan leaned down and kissed her forehead.

  Sophie took a deep breath and counted to ten in her head. “Fine. I’m going out for a bit with Tarin and Bailee.” She held up her hand. “We’re planning Chelsea’s birthday. I won’t be long. Please, don’t say anything to anyone about the baby until after we talk. Promise me.”

  “I promise as long as you promise to talk to me when you get back.” He searched her face. “Promise me.”

  “I promise.” She leaned against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “We’ll figure it out, won’t we?”

  “We will.” He undid her arms. “Go on so you can get back early, okay?” He turned her and swatted her ass. “Be careful, Soph.”

  She grabbed her keys and hurried out the door, wanting to be as far away from him as she could. The tension only lessened when she pulled into the parking lot of the country western bar where they had agreed to meet, knowing full well Chelsea would never just happen to show up. None of them ever frequented this place for that matter, as it was a bit of a rougher crowd than they were used to. She picked up her phone and called Tarin’s number.

  “I’m here. Where are you?”

  Tarin told her to head to the back of the bar and she’d see them. She made her way to the table and sat down. Judging by her actions, Sophie could tell Tarin had already been hitting the alcohol.

  “So what’s the game plan?” Sophie flagged down a waitress. “Can I have a ginger ale?”

  “Soda?” Tarin raised her brow. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, I’m driving, remember?” She leaned back and glanced around the club. “I see why we don’t come here. This place is a dump.”

  “I think we’re fine.” Bailee glanced around, eyes narrowed before she leaned closer to Sophie and whispered, “At least I hope so.”

  After they discussed the plans for Chelsea’s birthday bash, Tarin spotted the mechanical bull. She grabbed Sophie’s hand. “Come on, we have to ride that thing. I’ve always wanted to do it.”

  “No.” Sophie shook her head and pulled her lips between her teeth. “I’ve never wanted to do that.” She felt her stomach flip.
“You know I’m not into doing anything dangerous.”

  “Are you serious? This isn’t dangerous. It’s a freaking mechanical bull with a man at the controls. Are you always going to be a chicken?” Tarin tossed her hair over her shoulder and strode to the bull operator, leaned in, and whispered in his ear before turning around and smirking at Sophie.

  “Come on down, Sophie. I’ll make sure your ride is slow and easy.” The greasy haired man motioned with his heavily tattooed arm. “Don’t be shy. Your friend already paid.” His voice boomed over the speakers as everyone turned and looked at her, clapping and cheering her on.

  Sophie felt as if she were someone else as she walked slowly toward the bull and climbed on. Her body trembled with anticipation of what was going to happen when Greasy Hair turned it on. Suddenly, the bull started moving, turning slowly. This isn’t too bad. Sophie felt her grip relax and her confidence climb while everyone cheered her on. Just as she relaxed a little more, she felt the bull lurch. Her heart plummeted as her grip slipped and she was launched into the crowd around her.

  She heard Bailee shout as she soared through the air. She felt the wind rush from her chest when she hit the hard ground. Shit! was her last thought before everything went black.

  Blurred faces appeared hovering over her as her vision started to return. “What happened?” Sophie started to sit up, but a wave of nausea hit her. “Someone help me up.” She felt the heat of the blush spreading over her face.

  Bailee pulled her to her feet. Sophie swayed, feeling her knees start to buckle. “Whoa Sophie, maybe you better sit down.”

  “I just want to go home. Can you get me there, please?” Thank heavens, I’ll never see any of these people again.

  “Sure. Tarin are you sober enough to drive my car so I can drive Sophie’s home?”

  “I am now.” She snatched Sophie’s hand. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known you were going to fall off, I wouldn’t have forced you to get on that damn thing. Will you ever forgive me?”

  “I didn’t have to get on, you know. There’s nothing to forgive. Just get me home, please.” Sophie hoped Nathan was sleeping because she didn’t want to speak to him just yet.

  Tarin opened the car door and helped her sit inside. “We’ll be there soon.” She leaned in and hugged her before she shut the door.

  Bailee started the car and backed out of the parking space. “Do you want me to call Nathan?”

  “No. Nathan might be sleeping. And I don’t want you guys to come in with me.” Sophie glanced at Bailee. “I don’t want to wake him.”

  “He should know what happened tonight so he can keep an eye on you. I think you hit your head.” Bailee put the blinker on and turned onto the main highway.

  “No, I just got the wind knocked out of me, that’s all.” She laid her head back and glanced out the window. It was starting to rain, making the night look even gloomier. Fits the way I feel. The telephone poles passed by like the second hand on a clock. Sophie hated this part of town and sighed with relief as they passed through the intersection that would lead them to the nicer side. She prayed Nathan would be asleep when she got home. She was too damn tired to deal with him again tonight.

  A cramp tightened her stomach. What the heck? It felt like she was starting her period. She fought the urge to place her hand over her tummy. It was just the stress of everything that had happened over the last few hours.

  She sat up as Bailee turned into her parking lot and pulled into Sophie’s spot. “Please, just park the car so you and Tarin can get home. I’ll be fine.”

  Bailee’s forehead creased as she glanced at Sophie. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m positive. Thanks for driving me home. I probably could have done it myself. I was just a little shaken.” Sophie took the keys from Bailee and opened the door. “Thanks again. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She watched as Bailee climbed into Tarin’s car and waved before they pulled away. She waved goodbye to her friends, quietly shut the door, and locked it. Thank heaven he’s sleeping. She turned off the light and made her way down the hall into the bathroom, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and changed into her nightgown. She doubled over as a bigger wave of pain flashed through her stomach. What the hell? Something warm trickled down her leg, causing her to look down. A steady flow of blood created a path down, ending its journey on the floor. Oh no! Her stomach turned as she sat down on the commode quickly, tears streaming from her eyes. It felt as if her heart was breaking. She was losing her baby, the baby she’d told Nathan she didn’t want.

  He’d be devastated when she told him. He’d been so happy and hopeful today when he’d learned of the baby. Why had she been so cold about it? He was going to blame her for this, she just knew it. Would he believe her? Of course not, why would he? She had to make sure Tarin and Bailee didn’t tell him what happened tonight. Shit, she had herself in a real cluster. Her friends would be pissed that she’d been so careless. She knew this wasn’t because of the fall. Her medical training kicked in on that fact. A good-seated pregnancy wouldn’t have been terminated just from a fall

  Nathan knocked on the bathroom door. “Sophie? Are you okay? Tarin called to check on you. Something about you falling tonight, and she wanted to make sure you were feeling okay.”

  Damn it. She’d told them to let it be. Now she was going to have to face Nathan tonight. “Give me a minute and I’ll be right out.” She cleaned up, got a pad, and put it in her panties she had just taken off moments before. This was not going to be pretty. She squared her shoulders and opened the bathroom door.

  Nathan grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. “Are you all right? What were you thinking? You could have been hurt.” He hugged her close. “We need to go get you checked out tomorrow. Did you hit your head?” He turned her face up and checked her out, feeling the back of her head for any lumps.

  “I’m fine, Nathan. I didn’t hit my head.” She cringed from his touch.

  “Thank God. Let’s get you tucked into bed. In your condition, it’s not good to be stressed.”

  “Nathan.”

  “Sophie, just let me take care of you.”

  “Nathan. I’m bleeding.”

  “What?” He turned to look at her. “You’re bleeding? Do we need to go to the ER?”

  Nodding her head, she took his hand. “I think so. I better get checked out, but I can go by myself.”

  “No, I’ll take you.” He dropped her hand.

  “Okay.” She was shaking so hard she didn’t think she could take herself anyway.

  NATHAN PULLED UP TO the emergency room door and helped her out of the car. “I’ll go park while you check in. Are you okay going in until I get back?”

  “Yes.” She walked inside and to the desk, holding her stomach as more cramps doubled her over. “I think I’m having a miscarriage.” She bent over as nausea turned her stomach when another wave of cramping hit. She glanced at the woman sitting at the desk.

  “Let me get the nurse for you. Come on around and sit in that chair, honey.” The older woman patted Sophie’s arm. “I’ll be right back,” she said softly before disappearing around the corner.

  Shortly, a heavy set woman with bright red hair appeared, sat down, and placed a blood pressure cuff around Sophie’s arm before she opened a laptop. “Name and date of birth?” She typed as Sophie gave her the information. “Here you are. Confirm your address and phone number for me.” She nodded as Sophie gave her the information. “Okay Sophie, tell me what’s going on.”

  “I’m cramping and bleeding. I took a pregnancy test this afternoon and it was positive. I think I’m having a miscarriage, but I wanted to make sure.”

  “How far along do you think you are?” She glanced at Sophie with sadness in her eyes.

  “Maybe eight or nine weeks. I was having periods but they were spotty.” Sophie felt tears running down her face. Why am I crying again?

  “I’m sorry, honey. We’ll get you back into a room and do some blood work. I’m sure the doctor will o
rder an ultrasound to check out what’s happening.”

  “Thank you.” Sophie stood and followed the nurse into the back of the ER. She changed into the gown and climbed onto the cold bed. The curtain parted and Nathan entered, rushing to her side.

  “What did they say?”

  “Nothing yet. They’re going to run some tests and do an ultrasound.”

  “Do you want me to call the girls?”

  “No. I haven’t told anyone yet, and I don’t want to worry them. Let’s just wait and see what the tests show.”

  “That’s fine.” He pulled the chair closer, sat down, and took her hand. “I’m sorry I yelled at you tonight.”

  “I’m sorry too.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “I don’t want the girls to know about this, okay?”

  Nathan’s eyes narrowed and she was positive they were going to have another round. The pain hit her again, and she whimpered as her womb clamped down harder. She felt a gush between her legs. “Please get the nurse. Something’s happening.”

  He rushed from the room as Sophie closed her eyes, her heart breaking for the baby she’d thought she didn’t want but was now losing.

  The nurse hurried to Sophie’s side and lifted the covers to check between her legs. “Okay dear. Let me get the doctor. Things are happening quickly.” She hurried from the room.

  Nathan’s jaw dropped as the color drained from his face. “You’re losing our baby?” he whispered.

  She nodded. “I think so, I’m sorry.” Her voice wavered.

  He stepped back. “You’re sorry? You’re sorry? You didn’t want the baby. That’s what you said just a few hours ago.” His eyes widened. “Oh my God, you did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

  She resisted the urge to scream at him but taking a breath to steel herself, she calmly asked, “How could you think that? Of course I didn’t do this on purpose. This just happened.”

  Just then, the curtain was pushed aside as the nurse rushed back in with an older man Sophie assumed was the doctor.